I hate that you put me on a shelf for 7 years…expecting me to wait around forever. treating me like a dog you could put outside whenever you wanted, turning your heart and affections on and off whenever it fit into your life.

I hate that the only time you took action is when I said “I’m done”…then, you changed your life around? You couldn’t have done that when we were happy? When I still believed you loved me? When there was a still a future ahead of us? 

You had to wait, until I walked away, to want a life with me? I hate that you did that…I hate that you chained yourself to me as I asked for my freedom…

I hate that I allowed you back in, only to put me on that shelf again. I hate that I believed your promises when you said we would have a life together. And then, what I hate the most…when I stuck around, as you went right back to your old ways, and threw us away again.

You are good with sweet words and promises…you are good to offer up a life that you are in no hurry to have. Isn’t that what you’ve done now? Waited for me to be DONE to offer everything we should have had years ago…in the hopes of me coming back and taking my place on your shelf, again?

I hate that my heart is broken, even after all this…

I hate, that I don’t hate you…I hate that I am sad to have lost you, or that I never really had you…I hate what I’m going through right now…I hate needing to be strong to stand up against you…I hate that I need to defend my heart against you. I hate that everything I waited for is gone. I hate that someone else will get all of you, because you now know, that is the only way to have all of her. I hate that I have lost my friend, I hate that I have lost my dreams, I hate that I have lost myself…

I am so tired of hating

I am so ready to love